THE CAVE HIDEOUT OF EVIL KING
EVIL KING cackles at the top of his throne, an army of KILLBOTS below him.
ALPHAMAN, a hero with super strength and speed, hammers away at KILLBOTS as they swarm him. He punches one across the cave. He grabs a boulder the size of his chest with ease and slams it into a horde of Killbots.
OWLMAN, a hero equipped with cunning and advanced gadgets, deploys smoke bombs as he throws boomerangs and ninja stars at the KILLBOTS rushing towards him.
The two heroes back into each other.
OWLMAN
You.
ALPHAMAN
I didn’t know you were here. Let’s take care of these guys!
They easily dispatch the army of KILLBOTS.
EVIL KING
Ha-ha-ha you fools. Now I have you in my trap!
Evil King fades into mist. A boulder the size of a house rolls to cover the cave entrance.
The heroes slap their knees in anger at being fooled.
OWLMAN
This was supposed to be a solo mission.
ALPHAMAN
You’re lucky it wasn’t.
OWLMAN
Yeah, yeah. Whatever. You’re super strong. Why don’t you move that boulder so I can go after Evil King.
ALPHAMAN
I can’t move that.
OWLMAN
What do you mean? I thought you were super strong.
ALPHAMAN
I am super strong. I just can’t move a boulder that size.
OWLMAN
What? You can’t move that?
ALPHMAN
Yeah. I’m really strong, like I could overpower most people, but I couldn’t move that.
OWLMAN
Most people? Are you even a hero?
ALPHAMAN
I’m just saying ‘most people’ because there’s a few super-human guys out there I couldn’t beat, but we’re all really strong.
OWLMAN
Could they move that?
ALPHAMAN
Sure, some of them could-
OWLMAN
Then what good are you?
ALPHAMAN
I’m really fucking strong! What’s your problem?
OWLMAN
If you were really fucking strong you would move the boulder.
ALPHAMAN
What the fuck do you do? You have gadgets. In a fight between us I would destroy you.
OWLMAN
No, you wouldn’t. I would use one of my gadgets against you.
ALPHMAN
No gadgets. Just you and me.
OWLMAN
Never gonna happen. I always have my gadgets.
ALPHAMAN
You can’t say that. No. You can’t always have your gadgets.
OWLMAN
Well, I can.
ALPHAMAN
No one told me how much of a dick you were.
OWLMAN
And no one told me you were so weak.
Beat.
ALPHAMAN
Well fuck. Can you call for help with one of your transmitters?
OWLMAN
(mumbling)
I left it in the car.
ALPHAMAN
You what?
OWLMAN
I left it in the car.
ALPHAMAN
Ooooh. Mr. always has his gadgets.
OWLMAN
Shut up!
ALPHAMAN
You shut up, nerd-bomb
OWLMAN
Don’t call me a nerd-bomb, roid-head.
ALPHAMAN
Don’t call me a roid-head, beak-face!
OWLMAN pushes ALPHAMAN.
ALPHAMAN pushes back, sending OWLMAN flying against the cave wall. His head makes a wet smack against the stone.
ALPHAMAN rushes to his side in a panic.
ALPHAMAN
Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. I’m sorry!
OWLMAN jiggles himself awake. It’s obvious he’s dying.
ALPHAMAN
You’re going to be OK buddy.
OWLMAN
Hey…
ALPHAMAN
Stay with me.
OWLMAN quivers and coughs up blood.
OWLMAN
Hey… you are pretty strong, huh?
His body goes limp in ALPHAMAN’s arms.
Realizing he is trapped, Alphaman attempts to crush his own skull with a rock, but he isn’t strong enough to kill himself.
He sits in the cave with a massive headache for the next 40 years, until renegade archaeologist, Indian Jones, finds him and kills him.