How Bruce Willis’ Career Would Have Changed if He Had a Full Head of Hair

Bruce Willis

Great American actor, or Greatest American Actor?

That’s something you’ll often hear in casual conversation. It’s no mistake that the answer is “Yes” to one, if not both, of those questions. With dozens of great movies behind him, and many more to come, it’s hard to imagine him as anything but a skilled, bald actor.

There’s a keyword in that sentence. Bald. Although it’s difficult, if not impossible, to imagine Bruce Willis as anything less than a master of his craft, it is possible to imagine him with a full head of hair.

I’ve decided to take a look back at some of his most iconic roles to see how they may have changed if he had a full head of hair. Let’s make this clear. When I say a full head of hair, I’m definitely talking about over 18 inches of sweet, sweet gold.

Death Becomes Her

kresnik becomes her

Bruce Willis plays Ernest Menville, a meek plastic surgeon, who gets caught between two women using him to get back at each other. The bald hair really helped him take on the role of a powerless man surrounded by powerful women, but if his hair had been long and luscious his character may have changed radically. For example, instead of being a plastic surgeon he might have been a gay model, which could have opened the doors for a twist ending.

Die Hard

kresnik die hard

We could assume John McClane’s wife wouldn’t possibly consider leaving him if he had a long head of golden locks. Thus, they wouldn’t have gotten into the argument that leads to John McClane evading capture. John would have been captured with everyone else, changing the story entirely.

Most importantly John wouldn’t have been able to tape the gun to his back due to his luscious locks. We can easily assume he would have been killed, but he would have been much more likeable overall.

Red

kresnik old movies

Red is about a group of elderly, retired black ops soldiers.  With a full head of hair, Bruce Willis would not have passed as elderly or retired, and the joke of the film would be lost. He would probably have been a bad guy or a bit part, which could be great since he has a great range of comedic skills.

Demi Moore

kresnik demi moore

Although she’s not a movie, we can assume that with a full head of hair, Bruce Willis and Demi Moore would still be together . Their marriage would affect his movie career as well, since we can also safely assume he would be banging her and not doing as many movies.

Fifth element

kresnik fifth element

I can say that without a doubt, as sure as the sun does rise,that with a full head of hair, Ruby Rhod and Korben Dallas would have had sex. I don’t see that changing the story all that much, but it would make for a great scene.

 

It goes to show you that a simple change of physical appearance can have major effects on our perception. Body language affects how others see us, but it may also change how we see ourselves. In this TED Talk, social psychologist Amy Cuddy shows how “power posing” — standing in a posture of confidence, even when we don’t feel confident — can affect testosterone and cortisol levels in the brain, and might even have an impact on our chances for success.