Dear Liam,
I’m breaking up with you.
As much as this hurts, I think we both saw this coming. You have to admit that over the past few months our relationship has been rocky at best. I’ve thought about this for so long, Liam, and I just don’t think this relationship can handle the strain we’ve put on it – with your constant travel schedule, my high-stress job, the arguments, your cat allergy, and most of all, neither of us being gay.
Please don’t try to change my mind. I think if you look deep in your heart you’ll see that we’re past a point where we can work something out. We both had such high hopes for this relationship when we started. Such lofty goals.
True, neither of us were, or are, gay men, so that immediately worked against us, but I thought – ahem – we thought we had something stronger than that. Something that would last. Unfortunately, like the brightest stars, we burnt out too the quickest. We just weren’t meant to be.
And neither of us enjoys the sexual touch of a man.
I tried for so long, Liam. I realy did. I’ve always used my parents as an example in my relationships. You know this. They never gave up on each other, but they were also two heterosexual people in a heterosexual relationship. We were not.
I won’t even bring up the secret late night texts with Miley, because at the end of the day that doesn’t matter. I’m not mad at you. I know why you did it. She’s the right girl for you. She’s in show business, fun loving, gorgeous, and she has female genitalia, which you have mentioned countless times that you like very much.
I love you very much, but this is goodbye.
That being said, if you ever want to go out trolling for pussy together I’m supes down.
With love,
Joe
Please Share and Comment!