When will there be another attack? How many will lives will be taken this year? Who is this faceless enemy? It seems that whenever we talk about public safety, our biggest fear is terrorism, or my 2012 drunk driving accident that took the lives of eight high school students. Although acts of terrorism can be…
Category: Fiction
5 Parenting Hacks We Learned About in 2015
From creating a fun-for-hours stair slide by using cardboard, to using a slice of bread to clean up broken glass, this year has brought us some amazingly helpful parenting hacks. As useful as these hacks have been, there have also been plenty of other parenting hacks. Here are the top 5 parenting hacks we found…
The Blues
One day I really wanted to play the blues, so I went out and bought a $600 blues guitar. Technically it was $249, but the tag said the original price was $600, so I got the quality of a $600 guitar AND I got a deal. That was my first mistake. There’s nothing bluesy about…
Brian Williams’ Other Stories
I was once on a navy cruiser when it took heavy fire from a helicopter turret. I was also on the helicopter. During the attack on Tower 2 of the World Trade Center, I was in the building helping people evacuate. It was incredible, and I still keep in touch with some of those people…
“So I Caught a Rattlesnake with My Bare Hands, Now What?” on TheHiggsWeldon.com
You can check out my new piece at TheHiggsWeldon.com! 6 p.m. So, I caught a rattlesnake with my bare hands. Now what? Sure, I looked pretty cool when I grabbed the snake with my Steve Erwin-esque aplomb, but now that everyone stopped clapping I’m not sure what to do with it. At least it was…
Too Many Guns
“Do you ever think you may have too many guns?” Dave asked Blaire over the noise of the squad arming themselves. Blaire bent over to stuff two derringers in his ankle holsters. The Two shotguns on his back toppled over his head as he leaned forward. His other guns rattled with every move. He stood…
Splitting the Bill
The following story takes place during the dark times, before mobile payments like Venmo: “Once we do this, there’s no going back,” John said behind gritted teeth. He looked around the table at his three compatriots. Their sense of dread had grown steadily during the 45 minute meal, and now, as the small leather folder…
About the Clown I Hired for John’s Birthday
First I want to address that, no, the clown I hired was not an actual clown. I admit that, and I am sorry, but we have to look at the good here. Was he a clown? No. Did he do funny tricks, songs or dances, as was expected? No. Did he hurt anyone? Yes, but…
Ben Franklin Also Made Bill Cosby Rape Jokes Back in 1764
After it came to light that Tina Fey had made Bill Cosby rape jokes on Saturday Night Live back in 2005, as well as in 2009 in an episode of the Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip spin-off series, 30 Rock, it seems that just about everyone has been joking about these long unspoken allegations right under the public’s…
It Looked Like an Animated GIF, but You’ll never Guess What it Actually Was
What’s up with GIFs? Look through any blog or google image search and you’re guaranteed to see at least a few GIFs – a form of computer image that moves as an animation. Joe Cabello thought he found a goldmine when he went looking for gifs, but you’ll never guess what happened when he clicked one. It all started with…