You can check out my new piece at TheHiggsWeldon.com! 6 p.m. So, I caught a rattlesnake with my bare hands. Now what? Sure, I looked pretty cool when I grabbed the snake with my Steve Erwin-esque aplomb, but now that everyone stopped clapping I’m not sure what to do with it. At least it was…
Author: Joe Cabello
Too Many Guns
“Do you ever think you may have too many guns?” Dave asked Blaire over the noise of the squad arming themselves. Blaire bent over to stuff two derringers in his ankle holsters. The Two shotguns on his back toppled over his head as he leaned forward. His other guns rattled with every move. He stood…
I’m on Ryan Middledorf’s Whatsa Podcast!
A month ago or so I went on Ryan Middledorf’s podcast called Whatsa Podcast and now it’s online! It was my first time meeting Ryan and he’s an excellent interviewer. Listen to me mumble through the first few minutes and then get into things like how you force yourself to work on stuff, creative process,…
Splitting the Bill
The following story takes place during the dark times, before mobile payments like Venmo: “Once we do this, there’s no going back,” John said behind gritted teeth. He looked around the table at his three compatriots. Their sense of dread had grown steadily during the 45 minute meal, and now, as the small leather folder…
Home Alone, et al
Wondering what to watch on Christmas Day with your family? Try one of these films! Home Alone An 8-year-old boy who is accidentally left behind while his family flies to France for Christmas must defend his home against idiotic burglars. Homo Loan A Successful business man and closeted homosexual risks finally coming out to his…
Britney Spears Unveils New Hot Body in this Stunning, Completely Photoshopped Picture that Isn’t Even Her
Getting ready for her upcoming Vegas show and recuperating from having a child eight years ago, Britney Spears recently showed off her rocking new body. Despite noticeable digital enhancements, and the fact that this is clearly not Britney Spears, we think the 33-year-old pop-star and mother of two looks great! So, what do you think? Is Britney’s hot…
About the Clown I Hired for John’s Birthday
First I want to address that, no, the clown I hired was not an actual clown. I admit that, and I am sorry, but we have to look at the good here. Was he a clown? No. Did he do funny tricks, songs or dances, as was expected? No. Did he hurt anyone? Yes, but…
10 Ways to tell if Someone’s Fingers are Wet
Wet Fingers? Gross! We’ve all been in this situation. You touch someone’s hand and their fingers are wet. We all hate it, yet we put up with it. Here are some ways to spot if someone’s fingers are wet before it becomes a problem. Wet finger signs: 1. They glisten A classic sign of someone’s fingers being…
Ben Franklin Also Made Bill Cosby Rape Jokes Back in 1764
After it came to light that Tina Fey had made Bill Cosby rape jokes on Saturday Night Live back in 2005, as well as in 2009 in an episode of the Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip spin-off series, 30 Rock, it seems that just about everyone has been joking about these long unspoken allegations right under the public’s…
It Looked Like an Animated GIF, but You’ll never Guess What it Actually Was
What’s up with GIFs? Look through any blog or google image search and you’re guaranteed to see at least a few GIFs – a form of computer image that moves as an animation. Joe Cabello thought he found a goldmine when he went looking for gifs, but you’ll never guess what happened when he clicked one. It all started with…