Category: Articles & Short Stories
What I Imagine the People in My Neighborhood Are Saying About Me
[divider top=”no”] Crazy Guy: Hey. Look at that guy over there. Homeless Guy: Oh, yeah. That guy. He’s obviously weak. Crazy Guy: I agree. We should aggressively bother him. Homeless Guy: You’re right, we should. Any consequences we suffer from an altercation with him will be much less than he will, since we have much…
The Last Dragons
This story is available in a collection available on Amazon for $0.99! Click here! Graydis was only one of three dragons left in a world once thickly populated with dragons. He was on his way to mate with the last female dragon, Kirdana, but he was dreading it. Kirdana was nice enough, especially considering the…
How I Covered Up Crying After Doing Poorly on my 2nd Grade Math Test
Uh, oh. I did bad. I thought I was going to do so good. I did real bad. They wouldn’t give us a test we couldn’t do well on, would they? That would be cruel. Then why did I do so bad? I actually tried to do a good job on this. Why is…
How I Imagine Jeff Probst Will Die
The following events are not an endorsement for Jeff Probst’ death, but rather my exact opinion on how he will die when that time comes. ***** Jeff Probst made sure not to disturb anything as he silently navigated over the broken glass covering his apartment’s living room. If this was a serious break-in, he would need all the…
A Non-Erotic, Erotic Fiction
Dave jived alone amid the sea of party-goers, his red, Solo cup acting more like a beacon for “fuck me, I’m desperate,” than a tool for drinking, first invented eons ago. He was an average looking guy, but he had a member fit for a man two inches taller. Unfortunately he didn’t get laid much because he didn’t…
A Plane Hijacking Story with Billy Joel
It was midnight and the Tokyo airlines flight 881 was halfway to Shinai. Taking red eye flights used to be fun until the movie Red Eye came out. Movies have a tendency to ruin things, like how Pretty Woman ruined hookers. Most of them aren’t as nice and charming as Julia Roberts. Some are even guys, which…
I Present You with the Ultimate Anti-Virus Software
If you’re anything like me, you’re not happy with your anti-virus software, and I’m sure we’re not alone. It got me thinking “how can companies get this simple product so wrong?”, so I decided to dig deep to figure out why I wasn’t happy. Sure, they all have the same problems, whether it’s surprise subscription fees, annoying…
Dear Tyler, My Room is Better than Yours
Dear Tyler, My room is better than yours. Period. And everyone in your 1st grade class knows it. You could literally ask every person on earth and not a single one would choose yours over mine. There’s no ifs ands or buts about it. My room completely destroys yours. Where to start… How about THE Millenium Falcon.…
My Neighbor’s Robot
It must have been about 12 weeks since my neighbor John’s divorce. I was pretty sure it was ugly because I hadn’t seen his kids come around much at all – so much so that I started to wonder if they were even his kids. John had barely left his house in the 12 weeks…